i'm sorry...

i am forever owing her. I didnt make a good friend. I betrayed her, i look at your pictures, i flashed back to the past, look at the time spent in the class. I am sorry , truly, disgraced. Its all my fault, and its me who ruin the whole thing. I wanted to apologise, how stupid and foolish i am , but i dont know how to. I am really sorry for everything. To you. if i ever see you again, i will run awy from you, to ashame to actually face you. Wanted to email you, but i dont know how to. I feel so sad about myself. And the mistakes that i've done . Its unforgiven. Sorry. Ain.

KindheartedSouls.....

Came back to work on saturday and sunday, dad bought me a laptop, for my work, so that next week end i dont have to come back to office, i can do it at home. Meet up with baby on saturday to watch Night at the museum 2, same old shit, i sleep through the movies again, haix. Baby got used to it already, but dont know why, that day i feel the guilt, like very bad. Hmm, sorry dear. Sunday, stayed home whole day, play with my new laptop, sleep through my afternoon, eat, sleep,bath, eat sleep again. Hahax, good life aite? simple life.

Today, its another monday, Its like another 5 more days to my weekend, which will be my off days. Wa lau sianx. So long way to go.

Anyway, now than i got to know, my brother they do have a blog.

Eh serious, i feel that, i am a boring blogger , i dont know what to type and honestly lay to upload picture, so haiya., forget it!

Fate chooses your relations;you choose your friend

16th may 2009

Baby picked me up from home with his parents at 3pm . He's bringing me to one of his buddy's wedding loated at woodlands.Its my first time attending malay wedding lunch. Very excited about it and looking forward to see how is it like.BUT first of all, you guys out there who always read my blog should understand that i seldom take pictures.Hahax, wait for me to get my digi-cam first ok. than i will update a more interesting blog.Ok back to wedding,Reached the place and look at the deco,rabiah(baby's sister)says that its quite a grand set-up for guys side.Maybe its the only boy/child in his family so its grand.Basically is some makan session together, and wait for the bride to come.The food is GOOD!Thumbs up. If i'm not worng its from Hasim wedding catering. Very nice food.The bride arrive around 4pm. And they will hit onto the drum thingy and invite her in.She will just sit there till the guest leave.Got sirat, dangdut, and salam ceremony,photo taking session. Its simple and his set up its really nice. Gold colour. But the only thing i keep laughing is the groom holding on to a sword.wahahahx. And we left , baby go to work and i go to amanda's chalet. Happy birthday amanda! Everyone is not there on time,and i guesse things turn unpleasant. But whatever la, i went back at 9pm to meet b for movie.. Went back home after that.

17th may 2009

Yoga session at warren country club at 4pm. Last week instructor is a relieved teacher so its not that good. Enjoy the whole 1 1/2 hour session streching myself,trying to reach the ceiling. Lolx. after yoga, i can feel my body is very relax and i feel fresh. Took a cab home, and i'm so so hungry. Ate yogurt, bread, cereal and than rest in my room. Lolx. dad bring us to blooies restaurant at 9mile near bukit timah. Love that place. Supposingly meeting baby , but my stomach cramp again and i cancel meeting him. Reach home around 9.45pm . Went to my room, watch tv, play bejewelled. Slowly dozzed off. Missed b alot. dont know why.wahahax. and woke up around 2.30am and cant get to sleep till 5am, wa lau. and i am late for work this morning , what the hell.

Today's amanda operation . Hope everything goes well for her. And i could understand how she is feeling right now. Tense, scared. But everything will be bettter after removing the tumour. Love... be strong: )


OK.gonna get back to work now. body aching man.!

Monday is a long day for me!!!

Angels and Demons

Watched Angels and Demons at 11.30pm just now at golden village grand (great world city)

I slept for the first part of the movie and woke up after 45 mins. I'm always like that.I always sleep in the movies.Thats me,maybe i'm tired. B was so focused from the start of the movie till the end. I woke up after 45mins, and thought of going back to bed, but i tried to watch awhile, seee if i like the movie a not. Damn, the movie is SO GOOD! I nvr feel bored or gets boring, because there is so much to see, i feel so tense because of the play. Can you imagine that. Its fantastic. Its worth the money. Thought of watching it again but i guesse its a waste of money.So i decide to wait , online to watch it. Hmmm, after all its a 5 THUMBS up movie. Friends and family members are reccomended to watch it. During the movie, i can feel the tich pain around my abdomen and pot belly. I always have this kinda pain. I think its because i drink coffee before that. My stomach cant take coffee i guesse. Hmmm, baby bought me minyak kapak(malay, feng you (chinese, axe oil(english .. Lolx. and i applied,massage downwards and slept through the journey back home. B is always nice, he will definitely send me back home and wait for me to get in my house before he drives off. He really change alot. He love me differently and i feel the blessed. Though we still quarrel of tiffed often over small things. but guesse thats us. Its us, we are like that, so cant blame it lah! Haha, so long as after every little tiff, we both know how to sayang/love/apologise/pamper/ whatever it is to make the sparks back, its still ok. I love you b. Ok i'm going to bed now. LOVES.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA ANG.. MAY GOD BLESS YOU FOR YOUR MONDAY OPERATION. BE STRONG!

Sad to know...

Two weeks ago , i got to know that amanda's stomach got a 9cm tumour.And she told me that 13 may 2009 she will know the result. Yesterday she msged me , telling me that, its not a good sign. And going back to the hospital today for scope again. Kinda worried for her! Just msged her to be strong. Hope everything will be fine for her.

AND!!!!!

this morning, browsing my facebook, saw my friend shout out. Having a tumour at my back, going through operation, SCARED and cant get to sleep. She's m secondary classmate, used to be close with her. Haix. I Could only ask her to be strong. And now i began to worry for myself. I know i cant be strong when this kind of things happen to me.


Life is full of huge surprises...

Heavy heads, spinning stomach!!

The may of each year is a NIGHTMARE.!! wahahahx.

So many birthdays to attend and its like conseqetively every week one..

Birthday babies:

Amanda, Bao You, Cui Yu, Clair, Pamela, Rabitah("v")

Mother's day celebration.

All about money..!! Woohoo~ Wonder if i nvr work how am i suppose to survive.

But i couldnt make it for Amanda and Clai's birthday party, sorry man. I got dinner and wedding dinner to attend. Hmm whatever it is, i will make it up to you guys.

Anyway, its been real long ever since i last updated my blog.

Work have been real busy nowadays, more jobs coming in and the pressure of question from those bosses. Its scary! Well currently, looking up for office space for rent/sale.Prefer Toh guan area. If any of you reading up this post , got any agents to recommend or office for lease please call or leave a comments behind.

Requirements

RENT: 1000 to 1300 SFT
Not more than $2000 rental per month

BUY: 2800 to 3000 SFT
Around 500K to 600K

Urgently!!!

Went back there...

Sunday

spent my day with randall , brought him to movies Xmen. Its nice, highly recomended thou some scene its abit exagerating but its still good. Brought him to carl's junior for lunch and straight after lunch eat popcorn! Sinful~ After movies, called baby asking for luge tickets. Randall's motive today is to go luge, for some rides. Went back there, seems like a stranger to everyone. I feel so different, dont know whether is it me, or the guys. Wonder whats behind them. Damn, feel so weird, Didnt talk much to them and i did two rides. Randall took another ride with baby as for me,i went to coastes to buy them some food. Bought fish and chips for $18 and beef bolognese(kids) $11 damn expensive. Claim claim claim, i need to claim. Hahax. Reach home at around 9. So slpy when i drove my way back home...

- Very lazy to blog nowadays.. maybe there is too much to do at work...


Current mood: shag,slpy mood! Long monday~~~!!!

Wonderful tonight.....

Meet up with him last night 10.30pm at east coast after 2 weeks. In between the 14 days, we could count the sentences and msges that we had. I thought he isnt putting any effort in wanting things back together. So i am indeed trying to give up on this relationship.Initially i thought that talking on the phone will just be fine after so long, but to think about it, thanks to yvonne, she said to me, no harm meeting, face to face is always better:) Hmmm so i decided to meet up with him.

I used to have fast heartbeats on my way to meet him. But last night,its different, i am so calm and not really rushing in to this. Why is it so. Maybe its been long, and those feeling of excitement or i can say looking forward is no longer there. Maybe i have this mindset that, i for sure gonna cry after meeting him. But surprisingly, things didnt turn out the way i expected. We both actually, compromise and wanted to talk about us. We feel the emptiness, we feel that something is just not right. Gosh, i cant believe its happening to me. We had a calm and cool talk by the beach drinking stout. Stout taste bitter, but that moment its so sweet that i could finish the whole can. Cant believe it. Sounds dramatic but its true la. And i feel that i could finally have a better control of my feelings. After broke up for two months, i learnt alot of things. Alot of useful things to improve myself. Its quite fufilling now, glad that everything is back to normal again, and hope this time round we both will cherish those times together and never back out from this relationship anymore....


lebevolbar 25.06.08

RiddLe--

Of the following words, which does not belong and what do the others have in common?

EVIL,FAT,ROMAN,DOUBLE,HANDLEBAR,SWEET,CACTUS,CAULI FLOWER .

I CANT STOP IT

i am back from bali, am i am still the same. it got worse, haix. help me man. I cant take it anymore.!

Pictures

Numberlogy- facebook

Your Life Path Number is 7
Your Life Path Number represents the path you should take through life and the talents and skills you have to make your journey a rewarding one.
Having a 7 Life Path makes you a seeker of truth and knowledge. You enjoying exploring the mysteries in life and strive to find answers to the unknown. You are an analytical thinker and enjoy spending time alone with your thoughts. Avoid letting the isolation go to extremes.

Positive Traits
Analytical, Mystical, Prepared, Wise
Negative Traits
Aloof, Cynical, Superficial, Fussy
Associations
Tarot: Chariot
Astrology: Jupiter, Neptune, Mercury, Libra
Rune: Ehwaz
I Ching: #52 Ken
Tree of Life: Netzach, Victory
Hebrew Letter: Zayin, Ayin
Shamanism: Crab, Horse, Falcon, Tortoise
Element: Water
Alchemy: Bronze, Silver, and Gold
Aura: Red
Color: Purple
Gemstone: Amethyst
Crystals: Violet Rutile
Months: July
Week Day: Saturday
Lucky Numbers: 2, 4, 5, 7, 16, 25, 34, 43, 52, 61, 70, 79, 88, 97, 106
Flora: Crocus, Geranium, Poppy, Fern

Badminton session

Yesterday went to East Coast Park after picking up my dad. Went cycling alone while waiting for him. I rode from macdonalds to east coast chalet and made a round around the chalet and rode up to east coast food centres. And passby cable ski, saw this guy, he can ski very well, amazed. Received a msg from him around 6 i think. And he asked to meet at Fort road carpark. at first i dont know where is it, and i called him, its AT THE OTHER END. oh dear, i was like, whatever, purposely meet up there, so i cycle there , on my way there i am like secretly, foolishly laughing at myself, because its so far, hahax, just imagine the situation. I'm exhausted. Finally i reach the carpark, saw him applying tiger balm on his legs. So i rode back up again to macdonalds, to return the bike and changed into jogging shoes and jog back down to the carpark.Did some cool down and streching and finally its over. Sweat like pig, face so red. Didnt take any pictures, well you guys know me la, i dont really take pictures, unless the mood is there. Hahax.

NOTICE: east coast food centre is closed for SPRING CLEANING.

We didnt manage to get my sugarcane lemon, he drove to westcoast park and he bought me fruits and sugarcane. Some unpleasant moments on the way there, but its okay. Manage to talk it out. We have to relax. Be calm and cool.

Plan for today, we are going for badminton session at Warren COuntry Club later , i've booked the court from 5.30 to 7.30 Should be enough for me.He will pick me up later at 5.30pm.

Anyway,i have to buy the strap for my handle later for my badminton rackets, my maid use green tape to tape the handle. Hahax, so pathetic man.

Ok ok, i have to toned up my body, stay healthy and be more confident in myself. HIGHER SELF ESTEEM PLEASE~

Ok , dad's in the office now, got to go... bye

Monday-------

Another monday...

went to pandan loop to collect my dad's car, and drove to work after that. Picking my dad at 4pm budget terminal later ( tr105 ). Brought my jogging shoe, pants, clothes for jog later with him. Msged him just now about the plans. But guesse he is not awake, I wanna cycle and jog around east coast park later, after that we will have our dinner. Wooo nice plan, healthy aint we.? Loving it. Ok i got to go now, off to the bank to do some things. Blog again tomorrow..

Labels: I'malwayslookingforwardtomeetyou..

talkin gtalking tallking talk....

Friday 27 march 09

It was a bad day for me, have been really stressful and suffering from constipation now,damn.Irregular meals recently, have been eating alot, ate chocolates and chips to make my day. Never take proper meals, but just junk food.

- iwannahaveabetterme

Chatted with amanda on skype just now , during work time. Meeting her after work for steam bath session with Phelia. Took a few pictures but i left my camera at home, maybe tomorrow i will upload all the pictures.

Everyone got their own problems in life. My problem now is, me myself and i, how am i going to handle it..? I've got my own way.. Determination.. Time dont wait....

Reached home at around 10pm, steam away some fats and my body feel abit more relaxed, at least its easier to get to bed..

Saturday 28 march 09

Stayed home and accompanied my family members. Went steam bath again with grand mother and mom. Yeah, went back home and i layed on my bed, msged him before i sleep, and waiting for his msg even i am still sleeping. But , i never received any.. Hmm, jie ying working at KM8 last party and she must be tired. Received 3 msges from friends, some really shocked me and i was wondering what is happening to her now, i phoned her but she is not responding. Please tell me you're alright.Guesse, you're in a mess now. I want to meet you soon and really please tell me more, i care. Went back to bed after replying those msges.And tell you wad, i am sleeping in my mom's room, suddenly just dont feel like being alone. I've been lonely..Hmmm but i know its gonna be alright.

Sunday 29 march 09

Woke up at 10am, look at my sent items. And i realise that, i dont even know what am i typing.When someone is sleeping, they usually type whatever is in their mind.Hahax. Basically all dreams. Went to lot one to but a list of clothes at Cotton On , 4 shorts , 2 tops, 1 belt. Very nice.:) It cost me only $99.45. Not that bad la, but now i am a bit tight already , because i am going bali this thursday you see, and next month i will have to be very very thrifty. Ahhh.. Went tanning after that, and came back home very quickly, no mood, feel so lost. But i still manage to go through and controlled my feelings, reached home at around 3 plus. Hmm, rest at home, gather with my grandma and relatives, carry my cute cousin , play with him. Make myself alittle happier. Hmm, and i took a rest on my sofa.Hmm, shiok. And i received a msg from him, and we went for movies at cineleisure (unborn) at 9.30pm. The movie is good, very shocking. He acted as if he is ok, but hahax,he got shocked too.Hahax, well, its the first time i open my eyes almost for the whole movie, i think 3/4 of the movie my eyes were opened. Hmm not bad, lolx. And went out with him later on till late in the morning. Hmm, i love him..I'm trying hard thou.. Just bear with it..:)

labels: its gonna be alright, bear with it.:) be strong.:) Control your feelings:) Use your brain to think and not your heart.:) Control those negative feelings:)

A babe in hands.... Tan Yan Kai

Let me show you some pitures of my little cousin. This is the only cousin that i am able to see him grow up day by day. Because his house are just a few Kilometres away from mine..

Bali trip on 2 april with BFF (S) (I)

Before going to bali, already we met up with some challenges, the air ticket problems, hotel problems, now about the itinery. Well we need to compromise. This trip to bali is rather stressful, i have to bring alot of things with me and let go of all the things man.I've realised what i wanted in life and i know that if those changes are made, i will have someone who truly appreciate it. Hmm about the trip, we have decided to do lots of water sports. Let me show you some pictures that we are intending to do. Here we go...

Fly up high like a bird and shout all you want. Shout out your wish and maybe miracle happens..

Go on this ride, Its hard to not fall or yo umight fly away from the boat. If you could be strong, you can go through it..! Shu xia and Jie ying are you ready???

Snorkelling.. Go go go.. see the underworld.. its beautiful. Life's great.. Talk to the fishes , touch them, and swim with them. A definite THUMBS up!!




jet ski, we can do this in singapore too. But bali's scenery its way better than here. Catch me if you can!


Fly fish, its not as simple as you think, You will fly when the boats starts to pull you. And fly while holding on to the handles.. scary but fun.. UP TO IT girls?

White water rafting at ayung river.. This is the best man. i cant wait for it. We will go through this bumpy road together.




Waterbom park, look look look, scream till you cant talk!


This are the water sports planned, and next we will plan for out sight seeing, shopping,and makaning session...

Well , before we go for the trip i want to tell you both, irene and shu xia. I want to sleep at the corner, so that i wont get kicked by the both of you.....

veena singh

How I Lost Weight
Veena Singh


I recently reduced about 25 pounds. I did it in a completely natural and healthy way. No, I did not take Metabolife, and no, I did not have to give up eating. Everywhere I go, people are asking me what did I do to reduce. Well, I thought I’d write about it to help anyone who is interested. These tips have worked for me, and I am talking in layman’s terms. Therefore, an expert in the field may not agree with the way I put it across, but I am only putting it across the way it was put across to me.

I gathered my information on a cruise. I attended all the seminars in the gym and spa area. I came to realize so many misconceptions and so many things I was doing wrong. Not eating to lose weight is a big NO, NO. Yes, you do lose weight, but not the weight you want to. Not eating puts the body in starvation mode, and instead of your body getting its daily requirement of energy from your body’s fat, it take from your body’s muscle. When we lose weight, we do not want to lose muscle, we want to lose fat.

On the cruise, I went to a seminar called “Do you have a sluggish metabolism?” In the seminar, they used an instrument on me that took my height and weight into consideration, and it provided me with my body fat weight and percentage, my muscle weight and percentage, and my water weight and percentage. I was told that most fitness places have such an instrument. Due to my misconception of not eating to lose weight, my muscle weight was less, my water weight was less, and my fat weight was slightly more than it should have been.

To burn fat, you need to have more muscle weight. Four or five days a week, I walk in the park 2.25 miles with my friends. Exercising releases endorphins, which actually energize you and make you feel great. Endorphins are a great anti-depressant and relieve stress. If you cannot walk in the park or run, get a bike or treadmill and watch television and work out. I have 3lb weights that I use while I watch TV. The point is build muscle.

By sweating (exercising, using a steam room, zaccuzi, sauna, etc.), you can increase your basal body temperature, which puts your metabolism to work.

Buy a dry skin brush (you can get them at body shops). Before taking a shower or bath, brush on your legs and arms toward the heart, and brush clockwise over the abdomen. Dry skin is an indication of poor circulation, which means a poor metabolism. Dry skin brushing improves circulation. Exfoliating also improves circulation. In body shops, you can buy a sandy like or crystal like cream that you use on your body to improve circulation and your skin (they remove the dead skin).

Since my water weight was less, I was slightly dehydrated. They told me to drink lots and lots of water, which was something I was poor at. I used to drink lots and lots of diet soda, which is horrible, why? : 1) anything made of artificial substances creates toxins in the body which could lead to fat deposits such as cellulite 2) drinking and eating natural and fresh food and drink is the best (avoid canned, pre-packaged food, ready-made foods, and food with chemicals or preservatives). Aim to drink at least about eight 8oz glasses of water a day. Drinking so much water does require you to make more trips to the rest room, but it is worth it. My skin is less dry and an added glow comes on the face. Best of all, it puts the metabolism to work.

The metabolism gets put to work after each meal. I was told to try and have 5 to 6 small meals as opposed to 3 big meals. I was told my daily calorie requirement was 1200(This daily calorie requirement varies from person to person. The instrument they used on me to get my muscle weight, etc. provided this information.), and therefore, my 5 to 6 meals should give me at least that much of calories. Be sure to have a balanced diet including at least four servings of calcium. Be sure to also take a multivitamin daily as well.

One pound is equivalent to 3500 calories. In my example, if I consume 1200 calories in a day, and I burn off 700 calories in a day due to exercise, work, life, etc. I will lose a pound in 5 days.



Here is the information given to me:

1) Start the day with a cup of hot water with lemon juice.
2) Dry skin brush every morning before you shower-always toward the heart and clockwise over the abdomen.
3) Exfoliate 2 times a week.
4) Massage-self massage daily, professional massage once a week.
5) Aim for 30 minutes exercise per day and 10 minutes relaxation per day.
6) Two times a week, soak 20 minutes in bath salts.
7) Try and use the steam room or sauna two times a week for 30 minutes.
8) Food beneficial to liver and kidney – aim to eat two of each group every day.

a.Liver: black grapes, garlic, fennel or dandelion tea or green tea, carrot or beetroot juice.
b.Kidney: fresh honey, cranberry juice/tablets, melon (alone without other food).
9) Limit/avoid common colon irritants/food intolerances: wheat products (breads, pasta, flour), caffeine, chocolate, alcohol, malt, yeast, barley, maize, rye, refined flours, refined sugar, refined starch.
10) Avoid artificial sweeteners, preservatives, and food additives.
11) Eat organic foods in their most “natural” state – fresh fruit and vegetables.
12) Avoid processed, pre-packaged, ready made foods and meals.
13) Reduce fat, sugar, and salt intake.


Aromatherapy detox oils: Juniper, Rosemary, Pine.



TO Lose Body Fat & Increase Muscle

Cardio 3-5 times per week, 35+ minutes
Weights/Toning, 2-3 times per week, 30 + minutes
Stretching 1-2 times per week, 20 minutes



Consistency, Consistency, Consistency

1. 5-6 small meals per day.
2. Drink lots and lots of water.
3. Aim for salad plate sized meals, half the plate covered in veggies, a quarter with carbohydrates, and a quarter with proteins (look at your plate).
4. Take a multi-vitamin daily.
5. The 80/20 rule: Make health oriented food choices 80 percent of the time, other fun foods 20 percent of the time. Or, 6 days on, 1 day off.




Stress & Energy:

Remember, stress is toxic to your body. If you do not take time out to relax, you will prohibit the maximum functioning of your health and vitality, and this will prevent you from achieving ideal form. Incorporate relaxation therapies into your every day life!

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

i've tried it . Have you?

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.
The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
Try again | Give me more

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

i've tried it . Have you?

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.
The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
Try again | Give me more

Am i.....

Am i doing something foolish..?

Wrote e mail...

Awaiting for the reply calmly, I am really serious about it...

Look at those arms...

The moment i looked at your right arm, you know how heartache i am? i have to walked away and go up to my room. Tears just streamed down my cheeks, the pictures you put, i couldnt believe it, why are you doing this? What is it that you like about it? I thought that you are not that bad to that extend, but why, why? Brother, we are family, please share and tell me that you've really think about it.... Please....

Reading up and planning

Reading the Guide book to The Rough SouthEast Asia..

Read up and note down the places where i am interested, usually the adventures and hunts. Thereafter, go online do research about it, confirm the cost and than proceed with my daily itinery. Budget $800 Per person Inclusive of airtickets and accomodation. So we need a very very budget plan/ trip.

Hope for the best

For things to change , you need to change.
For things to become better, you need to become better.

Read it from yvonne friend's facebook.



A change for yourself and not for others.


Got it from a very close friend of mind.


Keeping hope alive...

For you...For always....

Hope...

oh , i am crying again , again quietly one corner in the office. Sitting in the last row. I am trying to hide. I cant cry, i cant let them know.. why am i crying again. Rab please forgive me. I didnt mean it.

Scrolling down...

i scrolled down my blog page and look at my previous entries.. Its all about him.. My life is so much about him. But why does he still leave me with a broken heart..?

Looking back on those times when we both hold hands walking up and down Cineleisure. Movies, darts..

The best memories, KL trip and Party world singing session. Marina Barrage with his family. Danial, miss you so much.

So much memories.. But its all layed low...


Heal the pain and hurt.. And hope one day we will be friends back again.

Should i or should i not?

Oh dear, the one who have always been there, you looked how i fall and you look how terrible i am right now. Mighty you , though we may not seen each other , but i am really suffering. Please send some guidance. You've been there before , and i know you are still here right now looking at me. I dont wish this to happen, forgive me for the unhealthy doings. You know the pain i am going through. Please guide me, you're the greatest of the greatest. Those emptiness feelings are torturing. I cant do anything because he will still ignore. All i can do , is keep quite and cry. Why must this happen to me. Dear you, convince me please. I am dieing inside again..


Just now i feel ok, but suddenly i feel the pain again.

Why is this happening.?

Oh dear...

Should i or should i not?